Look familiar Mom?

Around the time I was this age I used to do 100 somersaults most nights, as a type of winding down! This fun was of no prompting of my own.

School Days

 

 

At Fikadu’s house

Over the last few weeks we’ve been able to communicate well enough with the kids to start learning about their home in Ethiopia.  It started when I showed Fikadu and Tigist the video we created to show when we passed court (see post on Jan 2nd).  In it I had a photo of a mudhut house typical to the southern region of Ethiopia.  Fikadu’s eyes lit up and he pointed with glee and said, “Fikadu’s house!!”  This allowed for a continued conversation about what life was like at Fikadu’s house.  ***Edit*** This post will be continually edited as we discover new things out about the children’s previous home.

So far they’ve told us:

At Fikadu’s house there was no shower, and no bathroom.  Fikadu said he got to go shint and kaka (pee and poop) outside.  Followed up with, “America, no kaka shint outside, no?”  Yes, that’s right son, there will be no going potty outside until we take you camping, and then those skills will come in handy! He was also quick to point out that the dog got to go potty outside.   

There was also a Big Water (assuming a lake) by Fikadu’s house, he apparently knows how to swim as he performed all the motions of going under water and swimming.  He also quickly pointed out that Tigist no swim because she was a baby.  Also the big water was where they got fish.

His family raised many cows.  Not one cow, but yes, big, big, big cows.  Followed by 1,2,3,4,5. . .Big mommy big! (apparently we’ve made the switch from Bus, to big meaning many)  He also told us that only girls milk cows, not boys.

A friend named Yacob has a horse.  And Yacob’s mommy makes injera.  Yacob was Fikadu’s friend.

There was a church near Fikadu’s house and his oldest brother Marcos and his wife took Fikadu and Tigist to church.  They sang lots of songs.  

There are lions near Fikadu’s house and you don’t go outside at night.  This came out when we asked Fikadu if he wanted to go outside with Daddy to take the dog out one night.  He looked as us like we were crazy and said, “No, Daddy!  Lions! No outside!”  We had to distinguish that America has no lions.  We haven’t told him about the ones at the zoo.

One morning we saw 5-6 deer out the window and Fikadu got so excited.  He used charades to mimic throwing a spear at a deer, slicing its throat, and then eating it.  He also told us that Marcos, his brother kills deer, but that he has not killed one yet.  Hmmm, well that’s protected park lands back there so please don’t spear any of those ones.  But I’m sure when you get older you can go on a hunting adventure with Daddy, Grampy, Uncle Luke and Uncle Aaron, and that if you manage to spear one instead of shooting it with a gun, you will have the best bragging rights on the Blackstone side of the family.  

Fikadu also told us that he had a big brown dog, but distinguished that his had a tail (unlike our boxer Belle).  The dog helped in hunting deer.

At Fikadu’s house no shoes, no tv, no stove, no sink, no lights, no phone. 

At Fikadu’s house there are monkeys!  We think he’s trying to tell us that yes, there were lots of monkeys nearby, but that they also had a pet monkey.  He’s indicated this my saying, “Belle this house, Monkey Fikadu’s house.”  And then he’ll say, “yes many monkeys, one monkey Fikadu’s house”

Fikadu used to climb banana trees with a machete and chop down large bunches of bananas.  He told us this when I had a large meat knife in my hand and he said,”Mommy, yes, this knife big at Fikadu’s house.  Fikadu, Marcos go upstairs big tree and WHACK, WHACK, WHACK  Bananas come downstairs.” 

What insight this gives us into what life was like for them.  Even though to us it seems so far removed from what we know!  The kids both speak fondly of their Ethiopian home and it is apparent that they were well loved and raised in a caring family.  I look forward to helping them remember this amazing history that they have, and I’m grateful to God for their first family who took the kids to church and taught them about Him.  I pray that they know tonight that Fikadu and Tigist are well loved and cared for.  And that we will help them remember their first family and their Ethiopian heritage.

Oh the joys. . .

Well, we made it to the one month mark and we still love our kiddos and they seem to be doing okay with us too!  =)  Seriously, Joshua and I love these kids so much, we put them to bed at night and just reflect on how good and kind God is for letting us bring these kids into our family.  They daily give us so much joy.

The good days and times overshadow the difficult times and make the transition that much easier.  But for posterity’s sake here’s a look at some of the memorable “not so good times” the last few weeks and how encouraged we are by the changes we’ve seen since.

Last Friday started out like a good day, breakfast went well, daddy got off to work well and the kids were playing fairly well together.  That is until Fikadu picked up Tigist’s sparkly Lisa Frank puppy and kitten folder and said, “Tigist, look.”  Tigist responded with the appropriate whine, “mommy!  Tigist’s paper!”  To which Fikadu was quick to say, ” Share mommy, Tigist share!”  Now hold it buddy!  I’m not stupid because the only reason you picked up that folder was to flaunt it to your sister!  Not because you really wanted her to share it.  Sooooo, it progressed with Mommy counting to three and Fikadu refusing to give the folder back.  This resulted in Fikadu having to have a time out in his room.  Which I was hoping to avoid with the 1-2-3.  Ugh.  So when I tell Fikadu we’re going upstairs the entire world came to an end, he went completely limp and started crying.  I ended up having to carry him (56lbs) upstairs.  Joshua and I have decided to use a Time-In of sorts where the kids are removed from the activity and have to go to their rooms, but we go with them.  A lot of times older adopted children haven’t learned appropriate responses to discipline and have emotional maturity much younger then their actual age.  This shows up in over the top, toddler like tantrums even when the child is much older.  So, I’m upstairs with Fikadu for a few minutes and realize I need to check on Tigist, I come downstairs and Fikadu’s “I’m mad at you crying” turns to terrorized, “something horrible is happening” cries.  I race back upstairs to find that he has gotten a bloody nose and is gushing out all over the upstairs carpet.  I try to help him to the bathroom but he is still enraged at me and won’t allow me to help him.  I finally drag him to the bathroom and get him leaning over the sink.  Tigist now arrives on the scene and joins the mayhem with terror filled crying of her own over the sight of her brother bleeding (rather profusely I might add).  Fikadu starts yelling, “Daddy, daddy, daddy!  No mommy, daddy”  And continues shrinking from my every touch.  I get daddy on the phone and he agrees to come home, luckily only a 5 minute trip.  I assign Tigist the task of watching for daddy through the upstair window and assure her that Fikadu is fine.  This has so far been a 10-15 minute nose bleed and I’m wondering if he’ll ever stop bleeding.  He of course won’t pinch his nose closed or tilt his head, and proceeds to blow his nose out into the sink, each new tissue only brings continued terror at the amount of blood he sees.  His cries for Daddy soon turn to cries of,”Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!”  To which I smile at to see that at least he is turning to God for help if not his mother.  I thought about mentioning that I am the greatest means of grace in his life right now, but I didn’t think he’d understand! =)  So daddy arrives and Fikadu is more worn out then anything and the bleeding has come to an end for the most part.  Daddy assures him that he is fine and after a little chat with dad, Fikadu actually came downstairs and apologized to me and Tigist!  

Tigist on the other hand seems to be more quick with her words.  And its been difficult when I don’t understand everything the kids are saying.  Often Fikadu and Tigist will be talking to each other and I can tell it’s going south, but I don’t know what its about.  Sometimes Fikadu attempts to tattle tale on Tigist and he’ll say, “Mommy, Tigist blah blah blah blah.”  Sorry Buddy I don’t understand, and I usually turn to Tigist and remind her that we use kind words not bad words.  Well earlier this week, Tigist intentionally used the one bad English word she knows when she apparently wanted me to hear just how mad she was at her brother.  I don’t even remember what it was about at this point.  What I do remember is that I was in the kitchen making lunch and Fikadu and Tigist were at the table.  They were talking and I could tell it was escalating some when Tigist said, “Fikadu yucky!  Fikadu Satan!”  WHAT?!?!?!  That got my attention.  Sometime last week we talked about God is awesome and Satan is bad.  The kids already knew who God and Satan were and have quite a reverence for God and know some Amharic song about Satan under our feet.  So I knew she was aware of how mean and bad it was to call your brother Satan.  We had a discussion about how inappropriate it was to call your brother Satan and she apologized to Fikadu.

Even with these difficult circumstances and trying parenting we are still growing in joy.  We have experienced the effects of many faithful prayers for wisdom as we travel this road.  And just yesterday Fikadu had a time out and he didn’t cry at all, his response was “okay, sorry mom.”  I thought, “Man that was easy!  Maybe its sinking in!”  And Tigist this morning said, “I love you Fikadu.”  With no prompting, and just out of the blue.  This is what encourages me to see evidences of God at work in my children’s lives, and hope for continuing to trust God for his grace to parent joyfully tomorrow.