This is a post I’ve been pondering for the past few weeks. I can’t remember what day it struck me that Mother’s Day was coming and it would be here soon. I wasn’t quite sure how to begin or what to say, or if I could ignore all together what has been stirring in my heart.
This Sunday there will be no pitter-pattering of little feet, no messy hands and faces to wipe, no babbling baby, and no homemade card’s handed to me by children who call me mommy. No waking up to the sound of those beautiful words, “Happy Mother’s Day!” I will go to church and other women will be wearing corsage’s, or carrying flowers. Mother’s will be asked to stand and be recognized, they will be rightfully applauded for their sacrificial and loving care given on a daily basis.
The question is, how will I respond? For a number of families, adopting is the answer to years of infertility. Infertility can be lonely, saddening, filled with despair, jealousy and self-pity. The pain of desiring children and month after month realizing that the desire is being left unfilled becomes disheartening. Tears and gut wrenching sorrow can unexpectedly overwhelm you and leave you feeling hopeless. Dread can fill your heart of being “caught” in situations with other moms and being left out. You have no cute antedotes of child-rearing tales to tell in “the mom circles.” Baby showers and the like serve as constant reminders of what you’re lacking. And then comes that day. . . the day of the year when our entire nation turns to celebrate Mothers, and once again we’re reminded that we’re not in that club.
Again, how do we respond? Is adoption the answer to our longing hearts? Will that make this all better and satisfy our yearning and despair? I know I’ve at times believed that “when I have a child this will all go away.” I’ve sinfully said in my heart, “God, I know you’re good and sovereign, that you sent Jesus to die for my sin to make me Your child, but this is all worth nothing to me if I do not have children.” How often I have shamefully lost sight of the glorious inheritance secured for me in the gospel- that calvary is the first and only place that I can find the satisfaction and hope that my heart was created for and longing to find!!!
So, this Mother’s Day I fervently pray for myself and others like me. A dear sister in Christ sent me a beautiful card this week that read, “Thinking of you this Mother’s Day. . . May you celebrat this day in the hope of what God has in store for you, remembering that our ultimate hope is in Christ and his atoning sacrifice.” Oh, what a wonderful and truth filled reminder of HOPE! My prayer is that you and I can respond with hope and a heart full of faith towards God this Sunday. These are a few verses I’ve been meditating on as reminders of the good and loving character of our Great God.
Psalms 145:17 The Lord is righteous in all His ways, Gracious in all His works.
Psalms 100:5 For the Lord is good; His steadfast love endures forever, and His faithfulness to all generations.
Deuteronomy 32:5 The Rock, His work is perfect, for all His ways are justice. A God of faithfulness and without iniquity, just and upright is He.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY Dear Friends!!!!
13 Comments
May 10, 2008 at 8:46 pm
I appreciate you being so honest and forthright about Mother’s Day weekend. I’m waiting on registration/referral from Russia (with America World) and this particular Mother’s Day is proving hard for me as a not-yet-mom. I pray that God will bless you and strengthen you during your adoption journey,especially during the times when it is hard to wait on His perfect plan for our families.
heather
May 11, 2008 at 1:42 am
I wish I could be there to give you a hug this Mother’s Day. I will be thinking of you.
May 11, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Thank you for sharing this. It will help me to be more sensitive to the range of feelings that women will be having on this day when I go to church. I still recall a mother who shared with our church on mothers day about the pain she feels because of a lost child. You, this woman, and others show a great amount of character on this day.
May 13, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Bethany – You and Josh are in our prayers. Life is never easy, but simply sharing your heart certainly goes a long way to finding the healing you are in need of. Remember, God will supply all of our needs. You’re doing great!
May 13, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Hey there sister,
Thanks for the reminders. Your post made me think of that call and response thing Scott does before worship sometimes “GOD IS GOOD (all the time), ALL THE TIME (God is good). Whether or not our families are blessed with children, whether or not we have earthly success, whether or not we live in our dream home, whether or not…(fill in the blank) God’s goodness, His graciousness and mercy do not change. He remains the same yesterday, today and forever.
Love you bunches and continue to pray for you and Josh through this journey,
Heather
May 14, 2008 at 9:15 am
Thank you for sharing about this.
Tisha (awaa yg)
May 14, 2008 at 11:58 pm
What a sweetheart your sister is! Mother’s Day last year was a little difficult for me because I felt very expecting, but no one acknowledged that we were indeed expecting. This year many people wished me a happy first Mother’s Day. It didn’t feel like our first Mother’s Day. Our son was born before Mother’s Day last year and they were in my hopeful heart. I am praying hope for you!
With Love,
Penelope
May 15, 2008 at 7:18 am
Bethany~
I know this journy has been difficult for you and Josh. I have prayed and thought of you often. The day is coming when you will have tears of joy streaming down your face as you look at your beautiful children for the first time…and nothing will feel as wonderful. Last year was a very hard mothers day for me….it was just one week after losing our 2nd baby. It took alot of love and support from family to heal but Gods plan was another and I thank him for that. I am praying for you. I love you and Josh! I cant wait for you to make me and auntie!
Ashley
May 16, 2008 at 12:07 am
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I feel exactly the same way. Actually, I have quit going to church on Mother’s Day to avoid the exact situation you have described. After dealing with 6 years of infertility and now waiting for our referral of siblings under 3 from Ethiopia…I just wonder if the thoughts will go away when they come home.
Rhonda in Canada!
May 16, 2008 at 3:26 am
I’m not sure what all you have done to reach this point, but I wanted to say I understand completely. For me finally getting pregnant moved me into a different turmoil. Instead of people the lady looking longingly at pregnant women I was one of them. I knew other women dealing with infertility had no idea I had to do IVF with ICSI to get pregnant. They didn’t know the physical, emotional, and financial sacrifice we made to get the bump they were not having issues with seeing; at least that is how I felt as I watched my belly grow. A few months back a friend told me they wanted to start trying in September for #2, but “oops” they are due then instead. Even though I smiled and congratulated her I was shocked that I truly wasn’t happy for them. I thought since I at least have Kaitlyn that I would be over the jealousy of other people getting pregnant so easy. I thought even a year before conceiving Kaitlyn that I was over the pregnancy jealousies; I guess we have to feel the pinch to know the truth. What I’ve been wondering is if we get over all the emotional side of infertility once we have kids??? Or does the emotional side just get extremely minimized? Sorry to ramble. You guys are the first alumni I have “run” into who are on the same journey as us. We are currently doing our third and final IVF; if we are unsuccessful adoption is our next step. I’ve always wanted to be a foster parent and think if we adopt we may foster/adopt.
Jennifer (Owen) Clark
May 21, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Thank you for your thoughtful post. I am glad that our Lord is leading us to Him as our hope. I keep praying and trusting that He will fill both our places of loss and our children’s places of loss with Himself!
with love and prayers,
Anna
March 17, 2009 at 8:18 am
Will you be sure this year to write a similar post? How were your expectations different than reality?
July 3, 2009 at 6:54 pm
[...] http://taylorfamilyadoption.wordpress.com/2008/05/10/happy-mothers-day [...]